


Curb Your Enthusiasm

by Green



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-17
Updated: 2010-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-08 01:58:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green/pseuds/Green
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="http://reena-jenkins.dreamwidth.org/382814.html">podfic by reena_jenkins found here</a>
</p></blockquote>





	Curb Your Enthusiasm

Xander scuffled home, not really crying but not really *not* crying, either. The sidewalk was a little uneven, and he almost tripped a couple of times because his feet didn't seem to want to pick up as he walked.

Dejected. He guessed that was the word that could describe him. Or maybe _re_jected. That was it, he decided right then and there to never act on his feelings. From now on, let the other person make the first move. Maybe he ought to be grateful that he'd learned that lesson at the tender age of sixteen. He wasn't, though. He couldn't feel one ounce of gratitude about tonight.

Xander picked his head up and glanced around. Was he still on the same street? Nothing looked familiar. Great, no only had he managed to alienate a good friend, he'd also managed to get himself lost, in Sunnydale, in the middle of the night -- and everyone knew how safe *that* was.

He sat down on the curb, half hoping one of those raving, wild gangs of drug addicts he heard about on the news all the time would just come kill him. He slid his overnight bag off his shoulder and held his head in his hands. Stupid, stupid Xander. A few years back, he'd actually looked up 'stupid' in a dictionary because someone had told him his picture would be there. It hadn't been, but he'd learned more about the word, and it fit him exactly. Brainless, idiotic, mentally incompetent, thinks-it's-a-good-idea-to-try-to-kiss-his-friend, stupid Xander. He groaned as the fresh memory hit him again.

"Hey. You lost?"

Xander scrubbed at his eyes with his shirt sleeve and looked up. "Yeah. Kinda."

The boy in front of him was short, Xander could see that without standing. Anything else he couldn't tell, either because of the darkness of the night or the blurriness of his vision.

"I've got a phone," the boy said, gesturing towards the house.

"Your house? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just ... take over your curb or anything," Xander said, sniffing.

The boy tilted his head for a moment. "Come on," he said, leaving Xander to follow.

***

"So where are your parents? Wouldn't they mind, if -- if you had someone here this late?" Xander asked the boy -- whose name was Oz, he'd found out. Xander sat on a stool in the kitchen and plopped his bag on the floor.

"Nah. Out of town," Oz said. "Cocoa?"

Everything gets better with chocolate. "Yes, please." Xander looked down at the center island and tapped his fingers.

Oz opened a cabinet and looked in. "Hmm. Out of cocoa. Tea?" he asked, looking at Xander.

Xander scrunched his face and shook his head.

"Right." Oz closed the cabinet and opened the fridge. "Kool-aid? It's red."

Grinning, Xander nodded and went back to tapping on the counter.

Oz poured two glasses, and the next time Xander looked up, he laughed.

"What?" Oz asked.

Xander walked over to him, grinning. "You've got Kool-aid fangs."

"Oh," Oz said, and smiled. He licked the corners of his mouth. "Better?"

And suddenly Xander was in the same position he'd been in a few hours ago, sitting next to Jesse, talking about what they were expecting for Christmas, and suddenly having the inexplicable urge to lean over and kiss him. Only this time, it was a stranger and not his best friend, and this time he knew better than to just act on his brain-dead impulses.

Xander dropped his gaze and turned away. "Yeah." He felt a hand on his shoulder, warm and heavier than he would have thought.

"You okay?"

Xander snorted but stood still. "Yeah. I'm a giant senseless ball of hormones, but yeah. I'm okay."

Oz moved around to the front of him, and Xander didn't have to raise his gaze much to look into Oz's eyes, which were warm and kind and ... nice.

"Wanna talk?" Oz asked.

And that's a big, resounding no. No talking, no kissing, no failure, no rejection, no explaining why he can't call home to get a ride because his parents probably wouldn't even hear the phone in their liquor heavy sleep. No explaining that his best friend had looked at him like he was from another planet when Xander had just leaned over and brushed his lips across his. No explaining the outrage and the hurt and the way Xander had just had to run out of there so he could just be somewhere else to wallow in his own miserable moronhood.

Xander wasn't any good in keeping his emotions to himself. His fear and distress must have shown on his face, because Oz reached up and clasped Xander's shoulder again, and Xander just wanted to cry.

Xander spent the night on Oz's couch, and the next day he was gone as soon as the sun came up. He was only one street off his route home, and it was much easier finding his way when he could see his surroundings.

He showered and dressed, then grabbed his skateboard and headed for school, even though the thought of seeing Jesse again physically hurt him.

At school, the hormones hit him again, and he got clothes-lined by a railing as he ogled a new girl. Walking with Willow into the school, he thought he caught a glimpse of Oz.

Later that day, Jesse didn't mention anything that had happened the night before, and Xander decided that was the best thing all around. Jesse was his best friend, and nothing should come between that. Not even a stupid thing like a kiss.

END

**Author's Note:**

> [podfic by reena_jenkins found here](http://reena-jenkins.dreamwidth.org/382814.html)


End file.
